This is not my ceiling
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
