I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize