it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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