Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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