dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
