YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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