Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.