I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.