I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.