Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.