cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
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I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
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I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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