did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
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hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
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this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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