Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Screwed.edu
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize