the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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