im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.