you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
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Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
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I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..