for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
