I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
