so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day