I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France