You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.