Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive