kristin has been a bad kristin
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
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and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
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I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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