Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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