thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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