Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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