I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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