when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
