Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize