We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
