dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
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i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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