Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize