dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
