On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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