Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize