You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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