Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
