i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
