She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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