Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he was CRYING into my vagina
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
