Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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