Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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