dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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