pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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