it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
whose ass print is on the piano?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
