I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
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Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
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You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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