How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy