when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.