the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.