Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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