I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
