well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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