Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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