Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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