I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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