my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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