Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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