Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza