I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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