so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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